RIP
Saturday, July 30, 2005 / 7:39 PM
uh...quoting eustacia...i died of ecstasy today...i found a bunch of b-sides...and they're really funny...i got one of queen's 'we are the champions' and in the middle billie joe says I'M RICK JAMES BITCH!!! and an interview after he made his first record when he was five...the same one from the beginning of maria from INS...his voice is so tiny!!!!!!but the song is creepy...k bye0 comments
Friday, July 29, 2005 / 1:20 AM
sometimes i really wish i knew how to make friends. it would be really useful for everyone. however, it isn't useful to be able to feel every emotion possible in every passing moment. why do i always feel this way. i can't sleep.and just a couple minutes ago i was spacing out with my blog open and i forgot that it was my blog and i was just passively reading it and started thinking 'wow, why should i care about any of this shit. i wonder who wrote this...oh yeah, i did.' so that's what happens to me brain after 6 hours of sleep a night for a week...and i just wrote me instead of my...oh god, i think i want to pass out.
0 comments
forgetting you but not the time
Thursday, July 28, 2005 / 4:51 PM
green day's on snl at 10:30...on saturday night in case you couldn't guess.
the library gave out some really cool prizes this year for the reading program. yay for strange pens. i wonder if they even write. i got to go home at noon today. i get paid less and less for the work because i do it faster and faster. oh well, my parents are just gonna have to help me pay for college. hahaha. ha. ;( no, those are not my arms. and yes, that was supposed to be a semicolon for some reason.
0 comments
Wednesday, July 27, 2005 / 10:44 PM
all i know is nothing in turtle lake ever changes. well first i dropped by shane's house...sat around...played guitar...played with his rat jimmy...took levi back to his house cuz shane was going to becky's...we had to have 2 parties cuz of christina...i could only go to the one without shane because i have work tomorrow..so yeah it was really boring cuz all we did was sit around and drink rootbeer...and all levi got was a big bottle of smirnoff...christina still thinks it's some sort of war between us even though she's not with shane anymore...after she got home from work she changed into devon's shirt that he used to let me wear all the time...i think she was trying to irritate me...then she was talking as loud as she could when i was trying to talk to billy on the phone...then she was being all annoying and saying this is stupid, that's stupid, levi's stupid....blahblahBLAHBLAHBLASHUTUP!!! and finally i gave up at 9:30 on shane who never got back from becky's and i saw devon smokin' a doobie outside kyle's house...i waved at him just for shits n giggles...so yeah that was pretty hilarious...i don't even have to pay anyone a visit over there cuz i know exactly what they're doing...2 comments
/ 1:43 PM
the extent of my day so far: when i was sweeping the shelter patio i saw a really cool beetle that was olive green with white stripes and it was about an inch and a half long. perhaps i should be getting to levi's party?1 comments
Tuesday, July 26, 2005 / 8:00 PM
i took a nap today and i had the most depressing dream of my life...i could never go to a green day concert my entire life. i woke up crying and i still cry when i think about that dream. if i'm never seeing green day live within my lifetime i'm going to die. this isn't just a little joke obsession anymore. in fact i don't think it ever was. it's a religion. i read lyric booklets like the bible. i have a splitting headache now...and my third wisdom tooth is starting to break the skin and it hurts...i also had this dream where i have a kid. i always have those dreams where i'm either pregnant or have a kid and i feel this very intense motherly love for this child. but when i'm awake i have no intention of having such an evil little demon THING in the future. kill.
9 comments
mmm...blankets
Monday, July 25, 2005 / 11:09 PM
my senses were strangely heightened today. especially smell. i kept smelling citronella all over the house...then my mom said it was her rose candle...i smelled it so strongly it didn't even smell like rose anymore. then i smelled cigarettes everywhere...never figured that one out. and when i lie in my bed my sheets and blankets smell delicious...it smells like that smell your skin has when you've been in the sun. all my skin smells delicious too. then i just had to burn some incense just to see what would happen...and my eyes started burning and watering. suck. ow. i keep seeing lights in my room. maybe the aliens have found me at last.people. i love them. it's completely unfair to like someone more than someone else. all of them have so much potential. i hate them. so judgmental of others. me suspecting the worst of everyone. that everyone is against me. people try to help me and i wonder why. it has to be a trap. they want to hurt me. but the only time they do is when i don't suspect it. no one is innocent. but it isn't their fault. they are innocent. stuck in their own ways, closed minded, always taught by someone other than themselves. always hoping everything will get better. spending their entire lives believing so, and never doing anything to change.
who cares. i'm delicious.
0 comments
/ 5:13 PM
i opened my door at 2 last night to let a bunch of moths out of my room and my brother said he had just heard someone say something in his ear when he was downstairs on the computer. something about a spine, and it was around 4 words long but he couldn't really hear what the voice was saying because he was so scared. my house is sucky. i hope that never happens to me.2 comments
sigh...
Sunday, July 24, 2005 / 8:35 PM
staring out of my windowwatching the cars go rolling by
my friends are gone
i've got nothing to do
so i sit here patiently
watching the clock tick so slowly
gotta get away
or my brains will explode
give me something to do to kill some time
take me to that place that i call home
take me from the strains of being lonely
take me to the tracks at christie road.
see the hills from afar
standing on my beat up car
the sun went down
and the night fills the sky
now i feel like me once again
as the train comes a'rolling in
smoked my boredom gone
slapped my brains up so high...
give me something to do to kill some time
take me to that place that i call home
take me from the strains of being lonely
take me to the tracks at christie road.
-guess
these days are so effing boring. the friends worth being with are all gone, and everyone else that used to be my friends are probably stoned and/or being stupid. nothing to do. no work til tuesday...yeah i even look forward to it now. i at least like my job...
0 comments
/ 1:48 AM
sweet...the last two posts were exactly 12 hours apart...creeeeeeeepy2 comments
smurt
/ 1:46 AM
know what...there really isn't much to do on the internet at 2 in the morning...ya know? yea. guess i should try the sleep thing...sometime..............mhmm.........0 comments
Saturday, July 23, 2005 / 1:46 PM
billie joe is a registered member of poetry.com?!?!??!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!! it has to be his because his wife's name is adrienne nesser. search for armstrong b. windy smile.0 comments
phone calls
Friday, July 22, 2005 / 5:18 PM
i've gotten two phone calls this week (ain't that just unheard of). my old friend amber called to say that she's getting married in 2007 and i'm going to be one of her bridesmaids. well we'll see how that works out. :) all i have to do is somehow arrange to end up in nebraska in two summmers...hmm. and i even got a job on campus in missoula already. i'm gonna work 6 hours a week at la peak, which is this little convenience store in the lommasson center. they also have fun stuff like cereal and smoothies and lattes. i hope they give me free breakfast, because i only have a 2-meal-a-day plan. doodee.1 comments
a dream from a couple nights ago
/ 11:52 AM
i was kidnapped from my home planet and taken to the planet of jhonen vasquez! they wanted to use me as an experiment to see how i would survive under mental torture and homesickness. everyone at school made fun of me. worst of all was the teachers, especially ms. bitters. she hated my guts. i wanted to go back to earth so bad. but then i found willy wonka's glass elevator. it didn't have buttons, you just told it what to do (the only word i really needed to use so far was "up"). and i could fold it up so that i could keep it in my backpack. i had to plan my escape carefully, because if anyone knew i had this thing they would have to intervene. a few of my schoolmates wanted to come along because they hated this planet as much as i did. i wanted to do this right in front of ms. bitters just to spite her. so i did. but the sad part is that the glass elevator was out of fuel. i kept yelling UP!! UUPP!!! but it never got much more than ten feet off the ground and steadily descended downward again. ms. bitters thought it was only broken so she just laughed at me some more and thought nothing of it. so now i had to go through all the trouble of finding more fuel. now on this planet everyone's fuel is beer so we had to find someone of legal age who would buy us beer so we could fuel the glass elevator. this time we decided not to take any chances. we wouldn't do this in the presence of anyone. we would do it in the school yard between classes. the bell rang. we snuck out the back way and started running. someone had spread rumors about what we were up to because everyone else was peeking out windows and gathering outside. we all got inside the glass elevator and yelled up!! ms. bitters was running from the door now but it was too late. we were already sailing upwards toward earth! WEEEEE!!!!! the end.3 comments
Thursday, July 21, 2005 / 7:15 PM
today was stupid.2 comments
/ 6:43 PM
i think i have pms really bad. why else would i be crying this long over something so stupid. i should be better by this weekend. refrain from hating me til then, if that's possible. fuck. make that two weekends. i forgot about post-ms. stupid medications anyways.0 comments
and now...i'm going to talk to myself
Wednesday, July 20, 2005 / 6:29 PM
i think my blood is not pH balanced..yea...i keep one earring in for a couple days and then the pain is back and i take it out and i can scrape off metal with my fingernail...i need to get like, titanium or surgical steel or something. it's near impossible to find 20 gauge stuff.i got off work early and went to yellow bay in a really loud car that gave me a stabbing migraine. this is on highway 35 where you have to go 10 miles an hour half the way there both ways. oh god. damn nick to hell. people are really really stupid. at least i can sleep tonight. no work til tuesday, but i only have one semester's worth of college money in my life savings. a;sdogihasofdihasodfh!!! and now i have to go lie down. go away.
0 comments
MY TALLEST!!!
/ 6:10 PM
You are The Almighty Tallest! The rulers of the
Irken Civilization and the Tallest ones of them
all. You don't care about ruling and taking
care of the race, all you want to do is have
fun and eat junkfood.
Which INVADER ZIM Character Are You? 8 Possibilities!
brought to you by
0 comments
Tuesday, July 19, 2005 / 6:18 PM
my favorite kitten Asia got adopted today! but it's kind of sad too. :( she's a turtleshell kitty with a half-tail and the classic halloween eyes. hillary mowbray and someone else familiar took her. i slept alot today, but it's nick's birthday so we're supposed to be going to a restaurant sometime tonight...2 comments
BOO for palladium
Monday, July 18, 2005 / 3:20 PM
i finally figured out what the hell was wrong with my ear!! contact dermatitis! i changed the earring to a different metal and this morning it was like BOOM! no more beet redness and painful lumps! it was that simple. my head hurts. and also...i finished my chair this afternoon and i polyurethaned it. now i have to force my brother to take pictures and i'll put it on dA.0 comments
Saturday, July 16, 2005 / 8:46 PM
today we saw charlie and the chocolate factory with roo...and it's so sadistic i love it...and now i know the story behind willy and the oompa loompas...har har...johnny is rad....can't wait til corpse bride...!0 comments
bad
Friday, July 15, 2005 / 5:02 PM
there are blogs where people spend entire posts trying to convince themselves that they are good. this is sad.I AM BAD, OH SO BAD AND I LOVE IT!!!
nah i'm not that bad, i'm good enough, i have a bad side but it's all good, no pun intended. that was kind of confusing.
now that i'm done inverse-mocking people...
today after work i had to make a big deposit in the bank, and i was trying to add it all up on my pda and it logged me into msn because there were three different connections to choose from...isn't that COOL???!!! i felt like a hacker or something, stealing everyone's bandwidth or whatever downtown...why did nobody tell me about this? i could just go sit on some curb on mainstreet and have a free connection to the internet...
1 comments
Thursday, July 14, 2005 / 10:06 PM
and to think I fed those kitties their last meal...doesn't that just make me feel SICK...:'( coincidentally i found this on the front page of DA today...
0 comments
/ 4:18 PM
two siamese kittens and one black kitten had to be put down today because there are too many cats. tomorrow we're putting down reanna and sugar (rotty and hound dog) NNOOOOOOOOOO!!!! we need a funeral! SOMEBODY ADOPT THESE THINGS BEFORE WE INJECT THEM WITH ENOUGH POISON TO NUKE THREE ELEPHANTS AND A COW!!!!4 comments
and i'm alone in my room right now
Wednesday, July 13, 2005 / 10:31 PM
how do i even start...no one would even want to know this, it's so horrible...well first my mom's friend from college, Joan, and her husband Jeff are visiting. Jeff came in to see my room when i was lying on my bed. he commented on my matrix poster and then saw the aliens hanging off my ceiling. he's part of this group in denver made up of people who can't sleep at night because...aliens (news flash: i'm an insomniac)...he gave me some stuff for my evil closet because he says it's an alien portal. this can't be crazy. it explains way too much. he says the drones are trying to keep us from what we're supposed to be doing. that explains my headaches and sleeplessness. and oh god...a couple weeks ago it just dawned on me that my alien dreams might not just be dreams. and jeff says that sometimes when he asral projects in his sleep he has to fight them to get back in. my mom asked me at orientation what my scariest dreams were...and i said aliens of course. they're either trying to kill me so i have to fight them (good thing i haven't lost a fight yet) or they're staring at me and following me around. their eyes never look away from yours and they're always behind you, watching. always behind you. oh god...i'm scared2 comments
it's a GOOD day
/ 4:26 PM
software update that wasn't downloaded fast enough. it was a bug! took a few hours and phone calls, but it works now.and guess what...you wouldn't believe it in a million years...i didn't have to clean the dog kennels today!!!! i cleaned the cat room and cages instead. and then it was really slow there so i got to go home early. one of the kittens has two sets of thumb/toes, so it looks like she has mittens for front paws. they killed a bunch of dogs so there aren't as many to take care of (AA-HA!! REVENGEEEE! okay i'm not that mean). you should go to www.missionvalleyanimalshelter.org and look at fancy in dogs. and benson is the polydactyl toe kitten, but you can't see it in the picture...
oh yes...i have to torture you with this....just like i thought it would, my ear exploded a couple nights ago...but it feels so much better now even though it's all sunburned...kitties have bumped into it a lot after that and it doesn't even hurt anymore...whatever was in there was in there for a long time but it's GONE NOW! only large scabs remain...
and the best news yet...i just found out today...i can take henrietta and billie joe to college with me! EEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! now i can buy more fish and not feel bad because i won't be able to take care of them! if henrietta is okay with that at least...she isn't much for newcomers...she needs some manners dammit...
ok bye!
4 comments
hey hope this takes my attention away from.........
Tuesday, July 12, 2005 / 8:57 PM
10 years ago Second grade...my teacher was Mrs. Henry and she used to live in hawaii. i went to jackson elementary. i lived in Des Moines and I survived the flood of 93! i forget all that happened...i think the military had to fly in to give us food and water...our house was up on a hill so we were fine but everything downtown was all flooded for a long time...millions of crickets lived in our box of shoes...we lived in a duplex with my best friend Chelsea...some criminal running from the cops tried to hide behind our garage one night...we were on welfare and food stamps because my dad was in med school...it was so awesome, we got butter in pound blocks and cans of peanut butter instead of jars and government food and i hate juicy juice now...my dad showed me a bunch of stuff he was learning and brought home a microscope to study slides, a bag of medical equipment, etc...yeah and i got to go through all of it, i must have been a nuisance5 years ago I was 13...that means...7th grade! a couple years before i was part of the popular crowd (and the dweeb crowd too, i was friends with everyone), my two best friends threw me a surprise going away party before i left. after i moved to nebraska i got extremely depressed and the school counselor had to come visit me all the time because my teacher was worried. i promised myself never to make friends again, because i knew i was going to move away in another three years anyway. it didn't work. in seventh and eighth grade i made two of my best friends ever, jeanette and sarah. we went to this budd keyari gig, it was the best concert ever, they threw two whole boxes of fortune cookies into the mosh pit with the rain and thunder pouring down, but sarah's mom made us leave because she thought we'd get struck by lightning. we went with sarah to get her eyebrow pierced, jeanette got really grossed out. we acquired a cat named georgia who came with the house because she would just refuse to leave. they tried to take her to their new home several times but she always found her way back. she was the most awesome cat. she could catch AND eat a full size rabbit in less than five minutes.
1 year ago oh damn...well...i got myself mixed up with a bunch of stoners because my cousin is one of them...i found marshall...i busted off with the stoners...busted off with devon...hated some more people because they're so f@(#& stupid...kelly pissed me off too...got my first job at cherry hell to blow off steam...my junior year is so lame...i think i'll swear a lot now.
Yesterday trying to catch up with myself over all this new college information from orientation and everything else that went on in missoula...not much physically. got my laptop in the mail and something is wrong with it. ANGER!
Today got up and went to work. filled water buckets, hooked them in all the outside kennels, cleaned dog kennels, bleach mopped dog kennels, scrubbed dog kennels, re furnished dog kennels, painted wood spools, folded laundry, petted kitties, de-earmite-ed kittens, shoved cats through the cat door, came home, used my computer until internet quit again. ANGER!
Five snacks I enjoy cheetos, honeydew, candyyyyyyyyyy, apples with peanut butter, noodleys
Five bands that I know the lyrics of most of their songs green day, green day, green day, green day, and...green day...
Five things I'd do with $100 million buy a house, a longboard, a skateboard, a public skatepark, my college education, save the rest til someone needs it
Five locations I'd like to run away to Hawaii, Costa Rica, Japan, Ireland, Bahamas
Five habits I have being avoidant, assuming everyone hates me, and i don't know
Five things I like doing art/artisan crafts, drawing/writing, listening to music, skate/snowboarding, but especially daydreaming
Five things I would never wear stuff billy finds on the internet...really itchy/uncomfortable stuff...ugly stuff...yeah
Five TV shows I like zim, joan, shamploo, tenchi, cowboy bebop...
Five movies I like smoke signals, matrix, independence day, unleashed, rumble in the bronx
Five famous people I'd like to meet billie joe, billie joe, billie joe, billie joe, and weird al
Five biggest joys at the moment my computer (if it would WORK!!!!!), my longboard (if i HAD ONE!!!!!), missoula, having a job, and the opportunity to leave polson (YESSS)
Five favorite toys car, ipaq, computer, cd player, art supplies
0 comments
/ 8:46 PM
there was a highlight of the day yesterday...i got my laptop in the mail...but i was on it for a couple hours and then the IP address couldn't be renewed or something like that...so i couldn't get online...so my dad had to call hp and they made him format the whole thing and start all over again...and then today the IP address won't work again...so it's SHIT and there's nothing i can do to keep my mind off of it.so i had work today. we got to paint the wood spools that the dogs like to jump on/off. there's cans and cans of odd colors of paint. it was silly. and those baby kittens. they didn't just have fleas, they had worms AND ear mites! the mites aren't gone yet, we had to give them medicine today. they still aren't dead after all that poison and bugs...and we got some doggies and kitties adopted out.
nick's watching grease on tv again. hint: it's not a movie.
0 comments
BOOM
Monday, July 11, 2005 / 2:29 PM
there is a huge bump behind my ear under the earring and i don't know what that means...at least it isn't oozing or hurting or being red this time...but it's like...huge. it's about to swallow up the back of the post...no i'm unable to wear the backing anymore...yea. i'm thinking it was the hair dye. today marks week ten...so two more weeks until it's supposedly healed enough to change the earring...but i think it's gonna take much longer to heal completely.highlight of the day...there isn't one! omagod how cool! but i have to go to work for the next four days.
0 comments
/ 12:01 AM
nothing can beat this high, knowing i get to live in that town for the next four years at least. the town i used to always come home to every summer. there are bigger and better things out there for me that i stopped wishing for years ago. i've never felt this freedom before. i love doing things without permission. going places without consent. rebellion against everything i've ever known and thought. starting over, just like i said before.the days were long. they were 8 am to usually 9 or 10 at night. there are so many new things, large open spaces, small secret places. it seems like hogwarts except better. one of the student advocates wore nothing but kilts and cowboy hats, except for on poker night where he wore bright red jogger shorts, a blue belly shirt, and knee high socks and lots of sweat bands. he was the dj and played a bunch of good retro. i heard leslie say it was the napoleon dynamite dance that he knew perfectly, but i've never seen it. it was hilarious anyway. he danced for like 2 hours straight. he's such a dork and he loves it. well they gave everyone a bunch of fake money to gamble with. it's not like i know how. we just played bingo, woo. on the way out i got this strange bite on my pinky that hurt and itched really bad. it swelled up really big in less than 30 seconds. that was creepy. who knows what that was. well i only get 3-4 hours of classes a day, but probably much more homework. but that's okay with me. i registered for chemistry, calculus, psychology, art, and astronomy. they have crappy classes this fall but i need it for graduation credits anyway.
went skating with cousins and sometimes some of their friends, cheated on dropping in some more, bought cheetos and ate on the curb next to the gas station with kyle and emily just because we were tired and hungry. dyed and highlighted everyone's hair blue and red minus em and kenneth. so i have blue streaks in my hair now. kyle's turned out the best. next time i'll go the whole nine and a half yards.
it just dawned on me...this is probably the first time i've ever felt human...i felt completely understood...for one day. i was in my glory. so this is how normal people feel every day. the way it feels to speak one's mind without hesitation. i dunnit. with complete strangers. next time on ripley's believe it or not...
1 comments
sobering
Tuesday, July 05, 2005 / 12:45 PM
i would have to say that this was the most interesting fourth of july yet. first off was the parade, yeah not too great, but longer than it usually is, and marshall and nick were in it. i saw devon too, but i see him there every year. i doubt he recognized me anyway. then we went swimming at castle rock. it took me awhile to get in, but then i only stayed in for like 10 minutes because it's still damn cold. i never knew i could gross people out with my ribcage. after we got home i was on the computer when the power went out. then i went outside and there was a bunch of sirens. i had no clue that they had to do with each other. the sirens kept on going. and going. and going. then the power came back on. i was on the computer for another few minutes when the power went out for good. there was no power or water for two hours (the well needs power to work). we had nothing to do that didn't require power or water besides the trampoline and my brother's minibike. couldn't even do fireworks because my mom was afraid we'd set the field on fire and then we wouldn't have water to put it out (happens all the time, we're crazy like that). my mom and grandma decided to take my car up to jette hill to see what all the sirens were about. a car had ran into a phone pole and wrapped upside down around the TOP of it. that's how fast it was going. two more carloads of us went up there after that, i went on both of them. the first time the car was still upside down and wrapped around the pole, and on the way back there was an ambulance behind us without its lights going. my dad says that definitely means a dead body. the second time was worse. there were several people sitting by the side of the road crying. the skid marks on the road were outlined in yellow. the car was right side up. the entire front part of the car was drenched in blood. that didn't make me feel so great for the rest of the day. the news won't cover it because they're still investigating it. so then when the power went back on we got in the hot tub for awhile, then started the bonfire and roasted marshmallows. nick and kenneth lit off fireworks for the rest of the night and we watched the town display from there too. marshall got back and lit off one of kenneth's experiments (two rockets attached to an artillery shell). it wasn't the experiment that was so bad compared to marshall freaking out and falling in the bonfire. he burned his clothes a little but he's fine. that was crazy.i'll be gone til friday night. college orientation.
2 comments
Saturday, July 02, 2005 / 3:27 PM
i opened a bottle of superglue today and it exploded all over my hands!!! wooo!!!oh this isn't good.
0 comments
Friday, July 01, 2005 / 1:10 PM
if it's one thing i've learned from working there, it's this:I will never
EVER
own a dog.
ever.
but there is this one dog, Fancy (no animal is allowed to leave the shelter without a name!), who we just got a couple days ago. it was a stray and has a bad eye that will probably have to be taken out. she's so happy to be at the shelter. when we let her outside in the morning she was afraid she wouldn't be able to come back in. she loves sitting in her kennel so much, unlike the other dogs. she'll do anything you want her to without hesitation. even go to the vet, and she did. whatever happens, she just goes with it. that's about the only dog i like, other than Jennie.
1 comments