a dream from a couple nights ago
Friday, July 22, 2005 / 11:52 AM
i was kidnapped from my home planet and taken to the planet of jhonen vasquez! they wanted to use me as an experiment to see how i would survive under mental torture and homesickness. everyone at school made fun of me. worst of all was the teachers, especially ms. bitters. she hated my guts. i wanted to go back to earth so bad. but then i found willy wonka's glass elevator. it didn't have buttons, you just told it what to do (the only word i really needed to use so far was "up"). and i could fold it up so that i could keep it in my backpack. i had to plan my escape carefully, because if anyone knew i had this thing they would have to intervene. a few of my schoolmates wanted to come along because they hated this planet as much as i did. i wanted to do this right in front of ms. bitters just to spite her. so i did. but the sad part is that the glass elevator was out of fuel. i kept yelling UP!! UUPP!!! but it never got much more than ten feet off the ground and steadily descended downward again. ms. bitters thought it was only broken so she just laughed at me some more and thought nothing of it. so now i had to go through all the trouble of finding more fuel. now on this planet everyone's fuel is beer so we had to find someone of legal age who would buy us beer so we could fuel the glass elevator. this time we decided not to take any chances. we wouldn't do this in the presence of anyone. we would do it in the school yard between classes. the bell rang. we snuck out the back way and started running. someone had spread rumors about what we were up to because everyone else was peeking out windows and gathering outside. we all got inside the glass elevator and yelled up!! ms. bitters was running from the door now but it was too late. we were already sailing upwards toward earth! WEEEEE!!!!! the end.
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