Tuesday, August 31, 2004 / 9:12 PM
all hail the battery god...my dad found the size I needed on the second trip to walmart. it lives!!!
Christina still hates me. I laugh at her selfishness and the fact that she just never quits...at least for today...because Shane disobeyed her and talked to me. he says she got pissy when she asked if I graduated last year and Shane said no. if she ever glares at me I will smile prettifully. you would think she would have gotten over this by now. I'm so taken it's not even funny, so how could this put her in danger? and Shane even says she thinks I'm cool...well I guess that just adds to the jealousy now doesn't it. this will probably all go down the drain soon, but that doesn't ruin my good mood. Shane has blown me off so many times I don't even know why I'd even wanna know him anymore. Emily and Roo both have second lunch. I was sad. WUUUZZ!
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satan is a nerd
/ 2:46 PM
what a great thing to start off my day...my car wouldn't start again! so my mom had to take us. I was angry. and then I remembered that my schedule was still in my car. then I was REALLY angry.
government, blah. calculus, sounds interesting. painting/drawing, fun. we had to draw a miscellaneous unrecognizable shape on a piece of paper and pass it around the classroom a few times...synchronized doodling. mine turned out to be a blue porcupine creature. it reminded me of sonic. lunch was interesting. I sat with James and contemplated whether or not we would pay $20 to see an invisible pig on fire. then Shane showed up. and James got started on his favorite subject...how to kill off humanity. he would prefer arson, I want poison or a thousand samurai, and shane...squirrels. then english and zoology and I'm done...not. my mom forgot to pick me up!!!!!!!!!!! I called her up and she said "hi...??....OH!!!...uh...I'll be there in a minute." I got all the way to dempseys before my dad showed up. he just announced that my car battery is officially dead. SUCK!
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yay.
Monday, August 30, 2004 / 9:06 PM
well, a good summer it was. and back to hell we go. I can't wait. days upon days upon days of loneliness, of being surrounded by PEOPLE for most of my waking life. my freedom is taken away, nothing "flows" anymore. it's like everything negative is STUCK inside me.
I got a locker today. my sister got a walking tour of everything from me and my mom. I got all mad that she gets it the easy way by getting talked through and shown everything, so then my mom said it's just my karma because that's the way it's supposed to be for me. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
and my mom wants me to take the ACT and my dad wants me to vote and OH MY GOD!!!! *crawls in dark corner*
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ehhhh....
Saturday, August 28, 2004 / 10:29 PM
remember when I said that devon left that kleenex in my car when I went to Dillon? well I finally decided to call him on the fourth of July because I saw him cleaning up at the parade and he looked pretty pissed. and guess what? he had absolutely nothing to say. It was dumb. but now he tells me there was a little story behind that kleenex. and it makes me sick to my stomach to say the least. I'm never leaving my car unlocked again.
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
y'know when you got that tissue from your car that told you to call me?
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
well there's a story behind that
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
I got black-out drunk and beligerant as all hell
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
I refused to drive because I was drunk
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
so I demanded that everybody just let me walk my way to where I was going
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
but I guess I wouldn't tell them where I was going
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
they were all worried that I would get killed or something...
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
they even took my car to go get me...
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
I gave my keys to Lyle so I wouldn't drive
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
I fuckin' yelled at them
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
I told them to fuck off
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
they finally got me back into my car
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
they brought me to Lyle's house... and I just left back down the road to your house
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
I woke up in your backseat...
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
I wanted to ask you if I meant anything to you
God, I hold so many people's lives in my own hands. people swear they'd kill themselves if anything ever happened to me, or even if I said that I didn't love them. it's just a bunch of burdens for me to carry. It'd be nice to get out of here ASAP, so I wouldn't feel so guilty about all the suicides that would supposedly take place. I can't love someone just because they love me. sure, I can be their friend, but that just won't cut it for them. there's nothing I can do to just make them move on...
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Friday, August 27, 2004 / 10:59 PM
nothing to do. how boring. the people that did our floors are stupid. first they left the door open, so the cat got in, and when they got back to do the second coat they were all mad that there were footprints all over the floor. so then...they left ALL the lights on. and there's no way we can get to the lightswitches because we can't walk on the floor, so my mom just had to shut off breakers.
my mom said that she saw this thing in the news about people who live in tree houses...the houses aren't actually off the ground but the house is built around the tree. she said it sounded exactly like something I'd do. hmm...cool.
couldn't get to sleep til around 6:30 and then I had to get up at 8 to get my stuff downstairs. suck.
nowhere to go now that eustacia went back home. plus it's cold...blah.
I watched the cowboy bebop movie with my sister again. how do they make everything so real?! it's all so...cool...and the fight scenes...holy crap.
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Thursday, August 26, 2004 / 9:58 PM
I just walked out the door and all the noises of the house were just left behind and replaced by total silence. The air was perfectly still and a little misty in the drizzle. I had to sit out there for a long time. kitty joined me until it really started pouring.
one cool thing about being stranded in my basement is that I get to take my fishy with me in a jar. I'm going to take her everywhere with me!
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crappy
Wednesday, August 25, 2004 / 11:22 PM
CRAP I started my medication yesterday because I thought it was wednesday. big oops...
and more CRAP...my sister begged me to take her to mcdonald's to use up some coupons. well...then my car wouldn't start. we had to walk around in the rain to find a pay phone, and then my mom wasn't home so I had to leave a message...we waited for three hours...and when my mom showed up she didn't have any jump cables, so she had to call canyon's mom. and THEN...when she got them...this guy came over and looked at it for a minute and said that all was wrong was that one of the bolts was loose. what a WASTE!!! not like I could have figured out how to get my hood open anyways...
one more piece of CRAPpy information...since the floors are getting refinished...we can't walk on it for 48 hours, and they're doing it tomorrow...that means we're going to have to live downstairs for two days. crushed up with my family in a cold basement...how fun.
0 comments
Tuesday, August 24, 2004 / 11:39 PM
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
heh... this reminds me of your dreams....
pet rock says:
?
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
well... when you had them dreams about Marshall....
pet rock says:
you'll have to remind me...
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
hmm... they were on your website.....
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
hmm... did you have a thing for Marshall whilst we were going out?
pet rock says:
yeah
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
yup... dreams don't lie....
pet rock says:
did i dream about him a lot?
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
not that I know of...
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
but your dreams that you kept note of did depict a certain energy towards him...
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
and a loss of the same type towards me...
pet rock says:
hmm...i'll have to look at that
I thought you was a nigga, gangsta ninja, why din'tchya pull the trigga? It figyaz, couldn't even squeeze wit'ya finga says:
yeah... I saw that and realized that it was probably inevitable....
---------------------------------
and that just made me have to go back over the dreams i used to take note of on one of my webpages. one of them in particular was very, very, very, very interesting. it was almost a premonition of what would be happening within the next year. I think that's pretty neat.
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feng shui
/ 8:01 PM
today was pretty cool. my parents are getting the hardwood floor refinished so we had to haul out all the furniture. then my sister and I went to roo's birthday party, we got her a black and purple watch and made pizza and howled with her dog and played ping pong and played bumper cars with her rolling stools. then when we got home my mom had cleaned the floor and it was so shiny and big...that I had to do cartwheels on it! and play hack with canyon. I like it without furniture...I like big places without anything in it...makes me want to cartwheel and hack.
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piss off!
Monday, August 23, 2004 / 11:33 PM
this guy really annoyed me today. he was bragging that he got to go to a metallica concert and i said i didn't...and when he asked why not i tried explaining what living in the middle of nowhere is like. of course he lives in WALES and probably didn't have to travel any more than a hundred miles (or kilometers, if you fancy). you know what he told me? he said he must be a more dedicated fan than i am. that's the last time i'm talking to him.
i'm over it.
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Sunday, August 22, 2004 / 8:28 PM
everything...is perfectly...fine. i am enlightened. heavy stuff. very cool. i am now authorized to write grids for people and charge for them too. 100-200 dollars EACH. =O ...do I have any takers? damn.
2 comments
/ 1:24 AM
nevermind. i don't know what i'm feeling anymore. i'm worthless without my marshally. *little red hearts bubble out of ears*
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WTF
/ 12:27 AM
okay, NOW i'm in the bouncy mood. WeEeEeEeEeEEeEEEEEeee!!! this is insane. something's wrong with me. I hope my doctor doesn't find out, because he's the one that put me on THAT pill that would have THIS outcome in the first place. do you consider hormones a mind-altering drug? I do now.
all I ever dooo is SAY I'm sorry/words come out just like ear candy...I really don't care about anything right now.
a couple days ago, when i was in this mood, i went with eustacia and emily to the cemetery and we ended up lying in the middle of it staring at the clouds. if anyone else was there they would have thought we were drunk, judging by what we happened to be talking about. then it started raining and we still didn't get up half an hour later when it was pouring. and then we got shaved ice at nani's and sat in the rain some more when we ate them. the best day ever.
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the way I see it, everything should BURN
Saturday, August 21, 2004 / 11:28 PM
well, richard was nice enough to give me a phone call to drag my morbid, in pain, bitchy ass out of my bed at three this afternoon. after i got up to take a bunch of pain killers this morning i gave up and collapsed there again because i really felt there was no reason to live, and walking or being in an upright position made me feel either more cramped or more nauseated. today was day 1 of the intermediate light language class, my mom left earlier after asking me if i wanted to go but i felt like a slug. i don't understand what's going on, i've never had mood swings like this before. I go from extremely happy and bouncy to hateful and suicidal at least twice a day, and it's been like this for about two weeks. BS!!!!! i don't know what my real feelings should be anymore. what SHOULD I be feeling right now? during/after class i felt neutral about everything, you know that meditative state...we did a lot of that. believe it or not it gets tiring but it pulled me out of my hole of death for awhile. thanks richard, but...i'm...pissed...again.
wow...i think i can feel a bouncy mood coming on already...aw nevermind, that only lasted two seconds.
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Friday, August 20, 2004 / 11:57 PM
why do i have to be so FUCKED
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/ 11:51 PM
words only convey what someone is thinking, not what they're feeling, so basically no one could have any idea what i'm feeling right now.
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/ 11:49 PM
whatever i do, it's only going to get boring in a couple weeks anyways. why even try?
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/ 11:00 PM
panic attack. i can't breathe. my mom signed me up for the act and they asked me a bunch of stuff about what i want to do in college. i would appreciate it if you killed me now. i don't want anything in life. nobody talk to me...
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1 more day til the monthly apocalypse
/ 1:35 AM
god i hate hormones.
i'm sweating to death.
is this what a hot flash is?
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh
*burns in fiery pit of hellfire*
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check it
/ 1:10 AM
oh my god, this is the funniest thing i've ever seen. it's this 'online college center' banner on kazaa...and they spelled COLLEGE wrong.
XD XD XD XD XD
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accident?.......OR COINCIDENCE
Wednesday, August 18, 2004 / 9:37 PM
ooooh I have to write about this. I was driving back home from dropping off eustacia at her apt. and they were playing iron maiden on the radio (can you believe that), and there was a little sliver of a moon as the sun was setting and it was all pretty and happy...
and then when there was a commercial I changed the channel and I immediately heard "listen to iron maiden maybe with me..." remember that song? dirtbag by wheatus? that's the second weirdest coincidence that's ever happened to me because they never play either of those songs on the radio....
what does it mean?!!??
obviously someone was trying to make me smile.
1 comments
GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/ 4:52 PM
WE WENT TO TOP 40 TO GET VIDEOS AND MY NAME ISN'T ON OUR ACCOUNT SO WE COULDN'T GET THEM!!!!!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO CRAWL IN MY HOLE OF SHAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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woo-freakin-hoo
Tuesday, August 17, 2004 / 10:10 PM
I've never been able to beat my own score of 11 seconds on minesweeper, and that first happened like five years ago. well, at least I just met it again today. haven't played it in awhile. it's addicting, especially when my internet connection keeps dying.
my dad took sister kitty to the vet today to get her put down. she turned 26 this month. my mom cried. but i'm happy for sister.
went swimming with eustacia and the cousins at castle rock and guess what...KELLY'S BOYFRIEND AND HER EX WERE THERE! gee, what a coincidence (i'm sure she set the whole thing up). *pukes* she has the worst taste in guys I could ever imagine. her ex is this shrimpy little guy with bleached hair only on the top of his head, and her current one is this HUGE, 300 pound dude. they're both a year or two younger than she is. and kelly just sat around, giggling as usual...eustacia and i couldn't take it anymore and went for a walk and instead saw david evans...eustacia told me a vague story about how he was in 3/4 of her classes when she lived here and all the crap he did. interrreesstiiinnnggg well, everything we do is pointless anyway. we're haters. yayyyy
tried going to roo's house because she's been down lately. both her dad and her sister wrecked their cars this week, and her dad has to go to court for it. he's an alcoholic...and when the cop came over he accused her of using meth because she's really skinny and she has stretch marks on her legs...but actually that's because she had cancer a few years ago.
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeebye.
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well look at that...it's a title!
/ 1:32 AM
a few things i've taken enjoyment in lately...
-a sushi bar
-chinese donuts
-staying up all night talking to eustacia on msn on my cousins' futon
-laughing at society
-talked to James at the fair in missoula
-the trenchcoat kyle tried on at hot topic...it's damn sexy
BUT WHY?!!!!! WHY DID MY CHINESE ALGAE EATER HAVE TO DIE?!!!!!!!!!
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Monday, August 16, 2004 / 9:37 PM
kelly actually got up the nerve to ask me if I'd take her to castle rock today. I said NO, I'M NEVER TAKING YOU ANYWHERE AGAIN, REMEMBER??? after she left my mom said wow, you're even stricter than I am.
She ended up taking her. TWICE.
I never want to leave my reclusive state again.
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Sunday, August 15, 2004 / 3:38 AM
this laptop is so nice and warm. but the screen just FREAKING HURTS MY EYES!!!!!
Know what's just fucking hilarious? on the kamakaze, there always seemed to be a couple of 14-year-old girls or 35-year-old guys just freaking out when it's only like two feet off the ground. then they say "OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOOODDDDdon'tpukeonmeokay?OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOOODDDDD!!!!!!!!" for the rest of the ride. and me and kelly are like "wee.....wee....yay." yeah, we were laughing our asses off at the people too. that's most of the fun.
another thing that's funny...on cans of air freshener the warning label says "keep out of the reach of small children and teens."
kyle and nick got these sweet black suits today.
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Friday, August 13, 2004 / 12:48 AM
part 3----
A new display name. says:
thank you
A new display name. says:
...for not smoking
misanthrope says:
mmmk
A new display name. says:
you'll see though, this time I'm done for good
misanthrope says:
okay then...we'll see
A new display name. says:
yup yup
A new display name. says:
anyways.. I'ma go to bed and wake up to my new drug free life
A new display name. says:
'night girl
misanthrope says:
okay...goodnight
and more crap. well I was slaphappy for a day because kelly got dumped. but she's going out with ANOTHER 13 YEAR OLD FROM POLSON!!!! what the fuck are you thinking....
as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
this shit?
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
elaborate
misanthrope says:
just nevermind, you're not gonna listen to me
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
yes i will, i'll listen i may not agree, but i'll listen
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
tell me!
misanthrope says:
well then you won't agree with me
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
come on just tell me
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
we dont' have to agree on everything
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
plz!
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
misanthrope says:
you wouldn't understand
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
can i atleast try?
misanthrope says:
you have...i among others have already told you
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
desperate?
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
or boycrazy?
misanthrope says:
either
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
i kno i'm boy crazy, i not deperate tho....i don't like bein boy crazy, but it's kinda like a drug, its addictive
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
and i'm only happy when i'm with someone, all the other times i jus feel sorry for myself and shit, so why not be happy when i can?1
misanthrope says:
it's fake
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
sometimes fake is better then nonexsitant
'as she looked in his eyes, she saw her furture, her happyness, her everything' says:
i don expect to find the real thiing at 14, altho i did, but thats over
but there was some happiness today. we went to a water witch...she taught us how to dowse, and it was pretty cool. she could tell us about ourselves just by asking for our birthdate and looking at a dowsing rod that we were holding. when it was my turn the first thing to come out of her mouth was "wow, you really don't care for school..." blaaah. then she says i have lots of friends, even if i don't think i do. and the rest was everything I already know...get a life and some self esteem faster because you've got potential. i'm so DAMMMNNN frustrated by that.
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Thursday, August 12, 2004 / 8:10 PM
more conversations with an idiot:
A new display name. says:
I'll stop smoking if you smoke my last bowl with me
misanthrope says:
?!?!?!
A new display name. says:
well... I was thinking... you want me to stop smoking...
A new display name. says:
I'll stop.
A new display name. says:
...but only if you smoke my last bowl with me.
misanthrope says:
nooooo...I refuse to go within 1 mile of that stuff...I want absolutely nothing to do with it or people that do it
A new display name. says:
I won't have anything to do with it after you smoke with me
A new display name. says:
and then you won't have to either
A new display name. says:
don't worry... you won't get addicted by smoking one bowl
A new display name. says:
c'mon... I don't wanna cold turkey for no reason
misanthrope says:
i'm not smoking
A new display name. says:
just one bowl... please......
misanthrope says:
hell no
A new display name. says:
you just don't think that I'll actually quit
A new display name. says:
and that you'll start
A new display name. says:
you're afeared of getting high
misanthrope says:
no
A new display name. says:
well you're afraid of escaping reality at least...
misanthrope says:
it's not me and I'm not doing it because I'll feel like a freakin retard
A new display name. says:
why will you feel like a retard?
misanthrope says:
because it's retarded
A new display name. says:
well... I ain't gon' quit unless I get compensation
misanthrope says:
what does that mean
A new display name. says:
I get something in return
A new display name. says:
'cause smokin' is something I love to do
misanthrope says:
sick sick sick sick sick sick
A new display name. says:
what's 'sick sick sick sick sick sick'??
misanthrope says:
you're making me nauseous
A new display name. says:
I got a cure.....
misanthrope says:
yeah and it's don't ever mention drugs to me again
A new display name. says:
aight then
A new display name. says:
I think I can do that
misanthrope says:
I'm leaving
misanthrope says:
bye
A new display name. says:
where are you going?
misanthrope says:
to my room
A new display name. says:
why?
A new display name. says:
if it's because of me.... I'm sorry.
A new display name. says:
:'(
misanthrope says:
sigh..........why do I even try to put up with your shit anyways...
A new display name. says:
I don't know
A new display name. says:
but I love you all the more for it
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
0 comments
/ 12:23 AM
okay, it's blog time now.
my mom rented out a big old cabin next to lake como for a night, the last night left that wasn't booked for the rest of the summer, and she booked this way back in march too. we were accompanied by my grandparents and their dog pebbles, my aunt and uncle (denise and dan) and their two little kids (sierra and dakota), aunt kay plus kyle kelly & kenneth...that makes 15 of us plus two dogs, and we all spent the night there too. fun fun...
of course we had to go swimming first...and kyle and I had a one-way mudfight with kelly and nick. great stuff. but then I told nick that my mom had just got a leech off her leg (true statement) and he freaked out. wimp. too bad I didn't tell him what my mom also told me, about hearing someone walking around in the cabin when she was the only one in there...he would have cried. we played some guitar too. as the sun started setting we took turns in our 3-4 person raft and learned that dakota has a very very corrupted mind, and he's only five. we had to throw him off the raft after about 15 minutes cuz we just couldn't take it anymore. those stories might be kinda funny at first, but damn...
aaand, you always need to roast marshmallows. nick sucks at looking for stuff, and the fact that his night vision sucks doesn't help either, so I went out and grabbed about 10 and came back to find that he had found this puny little twig. lovely, nick. then "the cousins" (that title's gonna go down in history) went to go play hide and seek in the woods. me, I walked out to the edge of the woods where it meets this hill of big rocks by the shore, keeled over in the dirt and watched a meteor shower for a couple hours. that is just the hugest window in the world. down here you almost never get to see what's more than a few miles away from you, but then when you look above you, we're talkin millions of light years. guess who I wished could be there with me.
that night was just odd. the usual six kids, plus dakota slept in the big middle room between the bedroom hallway and the kitchen. kelly read a couple of ghost stories from a book, and once I saw this black orb move slowly behind the door. then again I see those a lot, but I usually don't see them move like that. after we turned out the lights nick and I heard something run really fast from the hallway to the kitchen. probably took only three seconds to move that far. it was really creepy, even after we figured it was a squirrel. that sounded like a freakin huge, lightning fast squirrel, I couldn't even imagine what it looked like...we heard it running around, dropping stuff on the floor for the rest of the night too. I slept for a couple hours maybe...then I felt this hand on my knee. about ten seconds later it went away. didn't know what that meant. maybe five minutes later, someone crawled onto my bed and crouched at my feet. at first I thought it was someone trying to scare kelly in her sleep (she was sleeping next to me). but it didn't do anything beyond facing my direction. it was there for at least a minute. I didn't know who the hell it was so I asked "what are you doing?" and then all I heard was this high-pitched screech. It was Dakota, freaking out because EVERYTHING IS BLACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kay heard him and took him to his parents' room. I stared at the ceiling and listened to that freakish squirrel animal until kyle got up at five to watch some sunrise. I joined in and that woke everyone else up and we all ate cookies. at six we were in bed again, except kyle who played us a "good morning tune" on his guitar. he played it for about an hour, but it was nice. kyle finally went to bed again and we all amazingly slept really well for a few hours.
then there was today. I was totally unprepared to hear my mom say that we were all going on a "six-mile hike" to a waterfall at the other side of the lake. all I had was a pair of flip-flops, because knowing me I'm the lightest packer in the world (all I brought was a change of clothes, a swimsuit and a toothbrush). well, well. I ended up walking/running on that dirt path for an hour and a half! that is NOT three miles, that must have been five at the very least. I was the second one there, and it took another half hour for everyone else to show up. It was a real nice waterfall after all that. climbed on the rocks all the way up to the white-water part too. my feet were killing me already, but of course I had to walk and run alllll the way back. kyle says he ran a half-marathon once. I believe him now. he ran the entire way without walking, both ways. I always come in second!!!! and then I somehow manage to walk myself all the way down the rocks to the shore to swim some more and all the way back. I have this huge blister on the bottom of my foot, and they both are just sore. I limp with both legs...yay
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Monday, August 09, 2004 / 11:37 PM
oh...three...five...........oh...three...SIX FIVE!!!....oh...three...five..............THREE!! OH!!!
-this is how my brother and I sing smoke on the water
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/ 8:30 PM
no woman no cry...
I made my brother play his drum to bob marley instead of his rap crap. I think he sucks. bob marley doesn't.
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Sunday, August 08, 2004 / 3:28 PM
Devon is a %#^@&%$*&$@!!!!!!!!
A new display name. says:
you're still always on my mind...
A new display name. says:
but then again... how can somebody forget somebody as beautiful as you?
misanthrope says:
*shrug* well, like I always say...I'm not that great
A new display name. says:
I think that's where you're wrong...
A new display name. says:
whatcha doin' tonight?
misanthrope says:
I'll probably be online
A new display name. says:
I'm pro'lly goin' to go to Joe Bob's party...
misanthrope says:
bleh
A new display name. says:
you ever been drunk?
misanthrope says:
no
A new display name. says:
it's something I think you should do at least once in your life...
A new display name. says:
just don't get shitfaced
misanthrope says:
..........?
A new display name. says:
if ya go out an' drink some time... don't go out an' get shitfaced...
misanthrope says:
I have no idea what you're talking about
A new display name. says:
drink 'til you're buzzed... not 'til you're pukin' your guts out.... that's all I'm sayin'
misanthrope says:
okay...but I'm not dumb like that anyways...
A new display name. says:
I never said you was dumb... but I will let you know that it's alot harder to judge how much you've been drinkin' after you've got a buzz...
misanthrope says:
okay...how about I just don't do any of this then
A new display name. says:
'cause... drinking is fun
A new display name. says:
I'm sure you'd have fun
misanthrope says:
it doesn't sound very fun
A new display name. says:
it don't taste the best neither... lol
misanthrope says:
oh...I drink for the taste though, haha
A new display name. says:
sounds like you haven't had too many alcoholic beverages...
misanthrope says:
not all at once
A new display name. says:
Jagermeister is the best... IMO
A new display name. says:
we're gon' be drinkin' some tonight... and pro'lly Bud
misanthrope says:
I don't want to know...can't you ever talk about anything else?
A new display name. says:
sure I can...
A new display name. says:
but that's about the only thing going on right now
misanthrope says:
I'm so glad I found someone else when I did...
A new display name. says:
it was probably for the better... at least for you
A new display name. says:
you probably think that I'm just gon' waste away...
misanthrope says:
that or finally find yourself 20 years later
A new display name. says:
what's that supposed to mean?
A new display name. says:
in twenty years I'll be doin' fine
A new display name. says:
I mean... won't be the life I wanted... but it'll do... I'll still have most the things I wanted
A new display name. says:
man, damn... I'll show ya
misanthrope says:
k, you do that
A new display name. says:
well shit... I gots 20 minutes before I gotta be at work..
A new display name. says:
I'ma smoke a couple of bowls an' get ready for a day of dish after dish
misanthrope says:
I don't want to know
A new display name. says:
that's the only reason I told you this time
misanthrope says:
why...you think it's funny?
A new display name. says:
no, I don't think it's funny
A new display name. says:
I just know you don't like to hear it... but I don't see how it hurts you
misanthrope says:
ugh...well, if you like putting me in a bad mood, you'll do it
A new display name. says:
your mood doesn't much matter to me any more...
misanthrope says:
obviously
A new display name. says:
I live every day without the woman I love.
misanthrope says:
it was your choice
A new display name. says:
yes... but it was yours as well
misanthrope says:
I ran out...I can't live with someone like that
A new display name. says:
how do you know?
A new display name. says:
have you lived with me?
A new display name. says:
have you lived with somebody like me?
misanthrope says:
I've spent a few hours with you...that was about all I could handle
misanthrope says:
I'm not going back to the colman house
A new display name. says:
why'd you bring the Colman house into this?
misanthrope says:
that's the last time I really spent some time with you
A new display name. says:
well... I did enjoy the time we did spend together...
A new display name. says:
I'm not even staying out there any more
misanthrope says:
where do you go now?
A new display name. says:
I'm staying at my parents
misanthrope says:
oh okay
A new display name. says:
I woke up thinking how great it would be to see you in bed next to me every morning
A new display name. says:
I gotta go...
misanthrope says:
okay
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Saturday, August 07, 2004 / 9:41 PM
Launchcast keeps playing "heaven's a lie" almost every day and I haven't even rated it. no such thing as coincidences...so heaven must be a lie.
when Em and I went to drop stuff off at the library before meeting up with the rest of the campers at blue bay we saw James! and then Seneca and Ashley Harmon's sister walked in! She wanted me to take her to McDonald's to get interviewed so that she could move back to Polson. She says Ashley hasn't been a very good girl lately...it deals with alcohol and the opposite gender. Seneca gets annoying after about 5 seconds. James took my keys and kept turning on my car alarm....ha.
And, camping was grand. We went tubing and then jumped off the boat, then hung out at this cold pool for awhile and then jumped back in the lake, that makes it feel really warm. Ended up finding my brother at his camp thingy there, that sucked...then jumped off the dock for awhile. That night the lightning was great. We sat there next to the waves and watched, then Emily, Kelly and I went to the bathroom to brush our teeth and the power flickered for a while and then just went out. It was funny. Then when we returned my sister had forgotten her retainer, so since we were all soaked anyway, we decided to play out in the rain after retrieving it. Kyle joined in. We got muddy. Then we played cards in their camper and talked about many... interesting topics.
Life is good. Why am I in such a bad mood?
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Friday, August 06, 2004 / 12:37 AM
my knee is pretty infected. dee-lish. peroxide is fun.
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Thursday, August 05, 2004 / 10:44 PM
allow me to explain myself, Undone. I hate myself sooo much that I can't stand the sight of a grin on another's face. I go down this winding downward spiral to the pits of hell until that grin on another's face is pointed towards me. I can't stand the way I look, act, feel. I would like to know what it's like to be a confident, warm, ambitious person....someone who makes sense.
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/ 10:34 PM
I am hated.
Don't even want to talk about it.
Don't know how.
I wish I was someone else.
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/ 1:24 AM
I am ashamed to say that I wrote this. It makes close to no sense, yet it does.
something/nothing (aka confusingmindbenderforidiots)
sweet something whispering in my ear
everyone but I can hear
are you there
some new shade of silver
my mind thinks nothing else
but your captivation
am I dreaming
shrugged it off for too long
but this is there
dance in my soul for all time
nothing but the stars are below us
do you feel the nothing?
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Wednesday, August 04, 2004 / 11:48 PM
THIS...is a random guestbook entry from someone's guestbook. signed by Kane.
Ponder
I have a question.
You have an answer.
The question is the answer.
You have a question.
I have an answer.
You're just asking the wrong question.
Question?
How can you ask a question
For which there is no answer?
Thought about it?
Told you there was no answer.
A rhetorical question.
A rhetorical question.
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/ 2:40 PM
(source:
http://www.ufos-aliens.co.uk/cosmicphotos.html)
The following astonishing conversation was picked up by ham radio operators that had their own VHF receiving facilities that bypassed NASA's broadcasting outlets. At this time, the live television broadcast was interrupted for two minutes due to a supposed "overheated camera", but the transmission below was received loud and clear by hundreds of ham radio operators:
Armstrong & Aldrin: Those are giant things. No, no, no - this is not an optical illusion. No one is going to believe this!
Houston (Christopher Craft): What ... what ... what? What the hell is happening? What's wrong with you?
Armstrong & Aldrin: They're here under the surface.
Houston: What's there? (muffled noise) Emission interrupted; interference control calling 'Apollo 11'.
Armstrong & Aldrin: We saw some visitors. They were here for a while, observing the instruments.
Houston: Repeat your last information!
Armstrong & Aldrin: I say that there were other spaceships. They're lined up in the other side of the crater!
Houston: Repeat, repeat!
Armstrong & Aldrin: Let us sound this orbita ... in 625 to 5 ... Automatic relay connected ... My hands are shaking so badly I can't do anything. Film it? God, if these damned cameras have picked up anything - what then?
Houston: Have you picked up anything?
Armstrong & Aldrin: I didn't have any film at hand. Three shots of the saucers or whatever they were that were ruining the film
Houston: Control, control here. Are you on your way? What is the uproar with the UFOs over?
Armstrong & Aldrin: They've landed here. There they are and they're watching us.
Houston: The mirrors, the mirrors - have you set them up?
Armstrong & Aldrin: Yes, they're in the right place. But whoever made those spaceships surely can come tomorrow and remove them. Over and out.
A certain professor, who wished to remain anonymous, was engaged in a discussion with Neil Armstrong during a NASA symposium.
Professor: What REALLY happened out there with Apollo 11?
Armstrong: It was incredible, of course we had always known there was a possibility - the fact is, we were warned off! There was never any question then of a space station or a moon city.
Professor: How do you mean "warned off"?
Armstrong: I can't go into details, except to say that their ships were far superior to ours both in size and technology - Boy, were they big!...and menacing! No, there is no question of a space station.
Professor: But NASA had other missions after Apollo 11?
Armstrong: Naturally - NASA was committed at that time, and couldn't risk panic on Earth. But it really was a quick scoop and back again.
According to a Dr. Vladimir Azhazha: "Neil Armstrong relayed the message to Mission Control that two large, mysterious objects were watching them after having landed near the Moon module (LEM). But this message was never heard by the public - because NASA censored it."
According to a Dr. Aleksandr Kasantsev, Buzz Aldrin took color movie film of the UFOs from inside the module, and continued filming them after he and Armstrong went outside.
Armstrong confirmed that the story was true but refused to go into further detail, beyond admitting that the CIA was behind the cover-up."
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/ 1:43 AM
being the oldest sibling is hellish.
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/ 12:59 AM
huge waves at sacajawea. 4 feet tall at the least, crashing into castle twice as high as it is. we jumped off and dived a few times, or just stood there and let waves splatter us. It was raining too. It was way cool until I died. I wanna do it again. Can still feel waves...joe bob gets annoying. SAY SOMETHING SAY SOMETHING. I screamed HIIII as we continued to walk far far away. I think he's happy for now. BURN
james says whatever you do, have fun with it. he's very sadistic towards girls. good thing I'm masochistic towards guys. I own a female siamese fighting fish. yah, female. they never have those at pet stores because they're supposedly not as pretty, but I think she's dashing. she's pink/purple with stripes. yes, stripes.
pointless
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Sunday, August 01, 2004 / 10:53 PM
this is the greatness of my life. we sang, in loud drunken voices, the weird al version of "complicated", which is actually an avril song, which was playing on the radio as we sang it. no need for one person to start, we both knew what the other was thinking and sang the entire song together from the very first word. "extra cheese..."
we all make fun of all the top 40 songs on the radio, including eu's mom. when they were playing that song where they say over and over "sugar sugar how you get so fly..." she says "well duh, if she's full of sugar and sticky ooey gooey, of course she's gonna have flies all over her!" I still laugh my ass off at that one.
and, eustacia and i can never make decisions for the life of us. "should we take tomorrow off?" "I dunno...do you want to?" "I dunno...do you?" "Uhh...It'd be nice to sleep in..." "Yeah..." "So...are we gonna?" "Um..." So after work we went to walmart to find an 8 ball to solve all our indecisiveness. We didn't find one.
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