the way I see it, everything should BURN
Saturday, August 21, 2004 / 11:28 PM
well, richard was nice enough to give me a phone call to drag my morbid, in pain, bitchy ass out of my bed at three this afternoon. after i got up to take a bunch of pain killers this morning i gave up and collapsed there again because i really felt there was no reason to live, and walking or being in an upright position made me feel either more cramped or more nauseated. today was day 1 of the intermediate light language class, my mom left earlier after asking me if i wanted to go but i felt like a slug. i don't understand what's going on, i've never had mood swings like this before. I go from extremely happy and bouncy to hateful and suicidal at least twice a day, and it's been like this for about two weeks. BS!!!!! i don't know what my real feelings should be anymore. what SHOULD I be feeling right now? during/after class i felt neutral about everything, you know that meditative state...we did a lot of that. believe it or not it gets tiring but it pulled me out of my hole of death for awhile. thanks richard, but...i'm...pissed...again.
wow...i think i can feel a bouncy mood coming on already...aw nevermind, that only lasted two seconds.
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