Friday, December 29, 2006 / 4:00 PM
well i broke my horrible record of 5 days. my new record is now 6 days in a row of little to no sleep, and still counting. less than 10 hours of sleep to be somewhat exact. so now i'll be on sleeping pills and antidepressants until further notice. and i'm getting bloodwork done later in the week. after that i have to get counseling every week next semester and beyond. yay for...20060 comments
Thursday, December 28, 2006 / 4:48 PM
yesterday i went for a really cool walk when it was all foggy. it was like i was on another planet and the ground was all glowy. there is actually still lots of stuff growing out there..moss and weeds and little ferns...it's weird and cool. i had to cut it short to an hour though because i was soaked from the legs down. and gizmo was just completely soaked. yay for cow pastures. we found a deer leg with hoof and fur still attached...finally opened our presents...but i still have more on the way apparently...i got a teapot, shirts, socks, jewelry and candy from grandma, a fleece blanket and slippers from the cousins, jewelry, socks and pajamas (what's christmas without socks and pajamas? XD), spongebob window jellies and a tarot card set (FUN!) from my family, a fleece shirt from my uncle, crap from grandma palmieri, a bathrobe from marshall, an invader zim piggy wristband from billy, har har...
anyway, i had coffee today so i am out of depression for a short while...eui is at james' house but i wasn't invited so i went shopping with mother...she bought christmas stuff on sale. i'm dying to see the new tree frogs at the pet store but we didn't go T^T i used to collect all the baby frogs in a bucket when i lived in georgia...and looked for salamanders in the creek beds...and went toad hunting on most nights....amphibians rock
i wanna go for a walk but my boots are still soaked from yesterday XD
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Wednesday, December 27, 2006 / 10:32 AM
i hate myselfi hate you all too
i hope you all die
but especially me
(these past 4 days have been one...long...horrible...day.)
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Tuesday, December 26, 2006 / 5:47 PM
well billy and cheryl and levi showed up today...cheryl molested me o.O i'm serious, she grabbed me in naughty places... XDi didn't sleep last night and it sucked because i was/am sooooooo tired.
it was fun though (missoula)
kelly got craploads of presents from andy, but all i heard about was a peacoat. wuh?
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Friday, December 22, 2006 / 5:19 PM
i got my grades!!!!!!!! holy gizmo!!!!!!!!!asian A- (coulda gotten an a if the final didn't suck and if i didn't wake up at 8:15)
psych A (easiest class eva!)
bio A- (yea that was really hard >.<)
but the one i'm most excited about is...
college chem I B+!!!
I know. holy jesus.
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Thursday, December 21, 2006 / 9:00 PM
today i have a migraine. and that's because last night i slept for the first time in three days. it's a lose-lose situation. the pain killers don't work. the sleeping pills don't work. i am screwed. my dad is giving me a glass of an alcoholic beverage every night to see if that does anything. it's kinda funny.devon wanted me to visit today but i didn't. i just felt too weird about it. i feel like i've changed too much, but in actuality i've only started to admit to myself that i'm not a piece of crap. whatever that's supposed to mean. let's just put it this way, he's still not over me, and i don't wanna get molested again. yah, again. plus he's all annoying like james.
egh...nothing else happening, just wrapping craploads of presents, going for walks, attempting to rest, and waiting for marshall.
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Thursday, December 14, 2006 / 8:59 AM
i can't believe it's over. now i have one and a half months of NOTHING. too bad i didn't sleep AT ALL last night. my mom told me to not even lay down today, to just get 'totally bombed' for tonight. maybe it will work. but it's only 9 and i've been up for 24 hours so far. i doubt i'd be able to sleep anyway.tuesday, i didn't get to sleep til 5 but then i woke up at 8:15 and realized my stereo didn't wake me up. my first exam started at 8. SHIT. god i hate my mind. it won't SHUT the FUCK up. i guess it doesn't have much to do with stress. i just can't sleep because my brain won't die. so i got to get out of bed at 6 this morning unrefreshed, sore, and in a very bad mood. die, die, die.
yea all my muscles are sore today. and yesterday. don't know why. maybe i'm just burned out.
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Saturday, December 09, 2006 / 11:51 PM
i'm looking around on google images...
look it's the motel we stayed at!!!
and this is the really huge bridge and marina that i didn't have my camera for!
and this is what the sky looks like in san diego! it's so awesome! i also didn't have my camera when i was looking at it (thanksgiving...lying in a park next to the ocean...i saw a pelican too XD) in the previous picture, that peninsula on the left is where we were lying...laying...whatever
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Friday, December 08, 2006 / 10:59 PM
okay, now that i have comments back...WHAT SHOULD I ASK FOR FOR CHRISTMAS?!?!?!? tell meeeee!1 comments
Thursday, December 07, 2006 / 10:17 PM
dude! okay so for the past, like...YEAR, i haven't gotten a single comment on my blog and thought it was just because i sucked. but then blogger came out with a new google beta version today, and i converted my blog over to google. and then...i got 65 emails worth of comments. holy crap! since most of them are outdated, i haven't replied, but so far i've replied to one. which was from uh, september or so...so i'm sorry i haven't returned any comments for the past year!! it wasn't my fault! T-Tone more day of school for the semester! omfg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but then comes four finals within the span of 30 hours. but what's weird is I don't care. I've been sleeping like a rock for the past four days. it's insane because I've only gotten two, count 'em TWO, full nights of sleep this semester minus this week. and i've been dead tired all this week too. guess i have to make up for three months of no sleep. i'm so happy though. SOOOO HAPPY...it's just this combination of dreaming about san diego every night...then waking up and hearing the damn christmas songs where people sing about snow, and cold horribleness, in a loving manner. and i have to walk across campus several times a day through that sort of crap, but i'm happy just knowing that somewhere else is warm and has beaches and palm trees...but furious because i can no longer feel my extremities. whenever i was walking around in san diego i got the sesame street theme song stuck in my head...sunny days sweepin the clouds away...on my way to where the air is sweet...i know i'm a freakin idiot, screw you...and now that i'm back here I just want to scream it at the top of my lungs, at the horrible morbid gray sky and icy snowy everything and the dead windy frozen nothingness. oohh the irony...the irony is wonderful. i feel so overjoyed that i got to be somewhere that made me happy.
and then i go back to bed and dream about san diego.
christmas vacation is going to rock.
in other news, Eui got institutionalized for attempting suicide.. twice. NO DYING EUI! WE LOVE YOU AND YOU ROCK!
so I guess the word of the day is rock? this rocks, that rocks, sleep like rocks...
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watch this.
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