Friday, May 12, 2006 / 7:20 PM
to those who don't want to read a really long blog entry: it sucked but it was worth it.
when we got there i was terrified out of my mind to hell and back. my mom started filling out the papers. i couldn't believe she was doing this to me. then the lady said we were early and to come back in 45 minutes. so we went all the way back home and i was either staring at my mom or staring at the tv screen sitting on the floor trying to breathe. so we got there AGAIN and i was just sitting there hugging a blanket in the fetal position. i wanted to run for my life. the nurse came out and called my name and led me to a big white room with an evil dentist chair right in the middle. she made me sit down and asked me some questions, i don't remember what they were because i was so scared. right in front and above me there was this HUGE metal tray of instruments covered with a blue towel. i could see all dozens of instruments poking out from the towel. oh my god. the dentist came in and he looked like a little troll. in the conversation with my mom and the nurse he asked what day it was. oh my god, the guy who will be ripping my teeth out doesn't even know what day it is?! the nurse hooked me up to the heart monitor. the dentist looked at my teeth and the x-ray and said i would need all 4 out because the other top one was really crowded and the bottom two had flaps of skin over them. i was going insane and completely out of control. they were still talking and the monitor made this louder beeping noise every once in a while. it must have been bad because the nurse kept turning around to look at it. they kept talking. there was no way in hell i was going to let him yank my teeth out. my heart rate was up to 125 so the nurse decided to gas me. i decided just to relax and concentrate on my breathing. it was kind of cold at first but went away. i felt like the corners of my eyes were twitching for a little while.(after this everything might be out of order because i felt weird) then the talking stopped and it was quiet for what seemed like half an hour. i wondered if they were done yet, even though it didn't feel like my mouth was open. then i heard the nurse ask if i was feeling more relaxed because my heart rate had gone way down, and i said yeah. the heart monitor's beeping sounded like it was going really fast though. later i heard her ask what kind of music i liked and i said rock, so she turned on a station and asked if that one was ok and i said yea. i don't know what was playing, i just heard music for a couple seconds and i didn't hear it anymore. all i could hear was this whirring noise and the heart rate monitor. whenever the nurse said something, i felt like she had said it 50 times before. like deja vous. i don't remember what she was saying though. i tried to open my eyes. i could but i shut them right away because i didn't want to be there. another eternity passed. then i felt a rubber thing being tied around my arm and the inside of my arm getting slapped and alcohol being rubbed on. there was more slapping while the dentist told me to clench my fist. it was hard to do because i was so relaxed. i couldn't believe i was that relaxed just from laughing gas when the IV wasn't even in me yet. he was making a big deal about the needle, but in my head i was like just shove it in already. dentist: wow, you didn't even flinch! me: ...
more whirring and heart rate monitor noises. i wasn't really bored, it just felt nice to be relaxed for once in my life. the noise was pretty creepy sounding but i didn't seem to mind. then they put something around my arm to keep it straight and told me they were putting something on my finger to monitor my oxygen, but i couldn't feel my fingers. i felt my arm being messed with a lot. maybe they were injecting the IV with stuff. finally i heard the dentist tell me to open my mouth as wide as i could. then he stuck something between my teeth to keep my jaw open. then i couldn't feel that my mouth was open anymore. some more whirring and heart monitor beeping. then they were ripping the tape off my arm that held in my IV and remembered that roo told me that that was the most painful part for her, but it felt fine. i don't know if i was ever asleep or not, because i felt like i was awake the whole time. i don't remember how i got to the recovery room, but vaguely remember opening my eyes and feeling relieved. i kind of remember entering the recovery room too. i felt kind of dizzy and heavy. i tried to move my arms but they were too heavy. i felt like i was in there for half an hour at the most, but later my mom told me we were sitting in there for an hour and a half. my mom told me she was going to the store to get me some yogurt and stuff and i nodded. when i could lift my arms i felt my mouth and there was a ton of gauze sticking out of it. below that was this huge rubber thing. i didn't know what that was for so i kept feeling it and realized it was my lower lip and chin. i could feel my upper lip though. when my mom got back she asked if i was ready and i nodded again. another nurse and my mom helped me to the car. they both tried to ask me stuff and all i could say was "uh" and "eh". it really scared me that i couldn't talk. when we got home i had to take my gauze out over the sink. i shut my eyes so i couldn't see the blood. it was really hard to get out because it was stuck to my cheeks and i couldn't really feel my mouth. the top of my mouth didn't feel like it matched up to the bottom, especially with my lips. my top lip felt like it was resting up against a cold hot dog or something. i was led to the recliner and my mom told me as soon as i could feel my mouth i should drink something. i asked for some "wahr" and tried to drink but i couldn't feel the cup and if anything had gotten into my mouth. my mom spooned it in instead. i felt like a retard but it worked because i could at least feel my throat to swallow. it wore off pretty quickly though. soon i could tell that it was cold and if it was dripping down my chin. i watched the nightmare before christmas. then it started to really hurt so i took one of the pain killers. the rest watched some movie about a western singer while i was out like a box of wine. pain killers really SUCK and even though i took only 3 or 4 in the first couple days, it took me til today to get it out of my system. i was drowsy and dizzy all the time and it was horrible. then i watched the lion king. i felt like a little kid watching all these movies i used to like when i was younger.
i actually feel human today. but when you're not on the pain killers, it hurts really bad. and when that happens and you talk it sounds like you're whimpering instead. there are times when it hurts, and times when it doesn't. i have felt much worse pain before though.
today, day 5, wasn't too bad. i took a tylenol at lunch but that's all. my jaw is really sore though and it's hard to open it. the bottom ones feel like they're throbbing right now but not too painful. they're the ones that hurt the most. the top right one hasn't hurt me at all. the top left one had to be cut out so i have one stitch between my teeth and my cheek. that one hurts sometimes. at least the dentist got it out in one piece. i wonder what they looked like...*shudder*
anyway, i haven't looked in my mouth at all. actually i was brave enough to let my family look in there today. my parents say they're healing really well but nick and emily say it looks SICK. they all said there's this white scabbing all around them. ewww. i'm not looking. i'm supposed to start irrigating the bottom ones with a syringe too. siiicccck....at least my sinus and ear canal feel nice now...but my jaw still pops. christ
1 comments