Monday, May 29, 2006 / 12:04 AM
was not as good as the bookkk, but that was to be expected...and then madre convinced us to go to the zone again. i tried to tell her mip was playing again but she said no. so we went anyway and sure enough mip was playing. and they sucked and were playing the same old songs with the crap drummer so nick went out to get some drinks. he came back with an xl monster and a coffee. sikka or whatever his name is got mad of course, and i guess that was our cue to leave or something. then we were sitting in the car drinking coffee and monster. nick left messages on everyones answering machine to say omgwegotkickedoutofthezonelololol. finally kyle picked up and we talked to him about crap for a long time. then we went back in the store to get a red bull. by that time we were all laughing our brains out...because energy drinks tend to do that...and we were parked by the wolf den so naturally this was bound to happen. well this 20ish year old kid walks up and asks if i have *insert jargon here.* nick said maybe there was some at pier 93, and the guy asked if that was a freeway. so then we're all like "..." finally he just plain asks us where to get some weed and i said we don't smoke (damn i should have lied)...cuz yeah, we were acting drunk and crap and the windows were all foggy from nick...then we decide to go park by nick's friend's house because nick was ocd-ing that they still weren't back from fishing. nick goes up and knocks on the door and this fat shirtless drunk man opens the door...normal. umm so then we were bored again so we went to james' house! he was being abusive and disgusting and destructive. nick ran off back to his friends' house. we were jumping on james' tramp for awhile and sitting in the car for a while. a really long ass while in my opinion. james has no respect whatsoever. finally we see three kids walking down the street, it was nick and two friends. nick says madre said they could spend the night so james crammed himself into the trunk and we went home.
this weather makes me so tired. it's been like this all week. plus my hormones are really messed up right now. i imagine this is what mud feels like. muuuuuuuuuud...
then i went to lawrence's for the day. i figured out how to rip and burn copy protected dvds for him. so i did that. and put labels on the back of laser business cards and stuff like that. sandra gave me the prequel to the da vinci code, which i must give back to her by thursday morning. i don't really care whether i finish it or not, because that guy's writing makes me even more weary than i already am. though the history and symbology stuff is interesting. the beginning starts off exactly the same, it's crap. plus this one is more about science vs. religion instead of the grail coverup thing. i would rather read about mary magdalene than this frozen naked guy with a huge illuminati burned in his chest, his head broken backwards and one eye ripped out. wtf. i'm tirrreddfasiodhoaighsdfo lawrence forced me to drink some green tea because i was yawning so much but caffeine just makes me even more tired maybeishouldgotosleepbye?
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Sunday, May 28, 2006 / 12:25 AM
my jaw is popping again and it hurts T^T0 comments
Friday, May 26, 2006 / 10:38 PM
at last, I am free! I finished the da vinci code.my dad fixed my prescription. i've been taking 100 mg minocycline once a day, and he switched it to 50 twice a day, and when it gets bad during the week before the apocalypse, I'll also have 100 mgs to take twice a day. which i hope will help because my face looks like crap right now....
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Thursday, May 25, 2006 / 11:56 PM
as for the rest of teh stitches, it was on day 11 when i was eating a waffle and bit down on the remains of the lower left one. waffles, brilliant. as for the lower right one, i saw it has popped open so i just decided to tug it out. i don't think there was one in the upper right. on the bill it said that one was "soft tissue." it never hurt me at all. the lower ones were "partial bony" (i don't wanna know) and the satanic one was surgical extraction, of course. they only hurt me now when food gets too far back there and i bite down...they look nasteh. you should see it for yourself ^^which gives me an idea...to shove my camera in my mouth:
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/ 5:41 PM
want to know something wonderful...my jaw doesn't pop anymore. though it does sometimes when I wake up in the morning after clenching all night, it goes away in less than an hour. for the past few months i haven't even been able to chew on that side because of that...also because my teeth didn't touch together anymore. now i know that was because my wisdom tooth was pushing them like that. scroll to the bottom and hit "with reduction." that is what it was. sickkkwhy am i dying for a piercing studio.
random urges...
i'm not really afraid of needles...my worst fear in the universe is the dentist. last night i kept dreaming i had a cavity and i was so scared...oh god.
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Wednesday, May 24, 2006 / 3:00 PM
shall i update? too bad, i'm going to anyway...uh...i'm eating candy...yep...mhmm...-_-okay, take 2. god, why is it so bloody cold all the time?!?!! we need more 90s weather!!!!!!!! yesssssssss!!!
my dad gave me the da vinci code, so i'm trying to read it before we go see the movie on saturday. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
why do i feel like a spaz?
maybe it is because i've been home alone for the past two weeks?! oh, god! i need a life! i wish i had friends sometimes. umm...i'm done eating candy now....
marshall went away for four days...
cold
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Sunday, May 21, 2006 / 8:51 PM
| Disorder | Your Score |
|---|---|
| Major Depression: | Slight-Moderate |
| Dysthymia: | Moderate |
| Bipolar Disorder: | High-Moderate |
| Cyclothymia: | Extremely High |
| Seasonal Affective Disorder: | High-Moderate |
| Postpartum Depression: | N/A |
| Take the Depression Test | |
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Friday, May 19, 2006 / 10:54 PM
my upper left stitch fell out when i was brushing my teeth! at first i bit down on it and thought a blood clot had fallen out (which would SUCK), but instead it took a bit of tugging to get it the rest of the way out of the skin...bleh0 comments
Wednesday, May 17, 2006 / 10:18 PM
he's only been in there a few hours, but the tank is sparkling clean now! they're lively little buggers. it took the guy 15 minutes to catch one for me. marshall still isn't home...bloob.
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/ 3:55 PM
I just bought a chinese algae eater with my tax return...XDwas going to get 2 more guppies but theirs were ugleh
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Monday, May 15, 2006 / 10:44 PM
oh yeah, and yesterday i figured out that they actually put a stitch in all four sockets...i was looking at them and saw something that looked like a piece of food, so i poked it with the syringe and saw it was connected to a knot...i'm like omg!!guess that's a good thing though because not very much food gets in there. but supposedly they fall out within 7 to 10 days. today is day 7 and still intact...
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/ 7:03 PM
well yesterday for mother's day we went to zimerino's in arlee but i don't really like italian food. it was a feat anyway because it was the first time i tried eating real food since i got my teeth out. then we went to the fish hatchery and i got over the fish tank heater thing because there are 'other fish in the sea.' they were so cool. you could wave your arm and they would swim in the direction you waved in a huge swarm. then we flicked spiders in and they ate them. woo.so i guess i can't leave my fish tank here anymore because no one else knows how to take care of them. my mom says it was probably marshall who did it though. that makes me angry. i don't know if i want another pleco, but i can see the algae fogging the sides already so i'm going to need a fish that eats algae off the sides. then i might get a couple more guppies and then i won't allow any more fish in there. you're supposed to have one inch of fish per gallon...i'm at capacity as it is but i keep it really clean...
and the day before my surgery my mom and my grandma and i went for a walk and we decided to look through this little house that was for sale. it was one of the coolest houses i've ever seen. the rooms were small and cozy, in the bathroom was one of those old fashioned bath tubs with a plant and a window, and old wooden creaky floors through the whole thing. don't know why i like those things but ok. maybe it was just the way the lady had it decorated. i also found a quarter in an alley. that actually helped supress my anxiety for the rest of that evening...
i've been unpacking and cleaning up my room for the past two days...my mom won't let me throw anything away either and i hate seeing clutter so i'm forced to shove it all in my closet...grr...
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Sunday, May 14, 2006 / 12:06 PM
SOMEBODY FUCKING UNPLUGGED MY FISH TANK HEATER AND NOW MY PLECOSTEMUS IS DEAD.0 comments
Friday, May 12, 2006 / 7:20 PM
to those who don't want to read a really long blog entry: it sucked but it was worth it.when we got there i was terrified out of my mind to hell and back. my mom started filling out the papers. i couldn't believe she was doing this to me. then the lady said we were early and to come back in 45 minutes. so we went all the way back home and i was either staring at my mom or staring at the tv screen sitting on the floor trying to breathe. so we got there AGAIN and i was just sitting there hugging a blanket in the fetal position. i wanted to run for my life. the nurse came out and called my name and led me to a big white room with an evil dentist chair right in the middle. she made me sit down and asked me some questions, i don't remember what they were because i was so scared. right in front and above me there was this HUGE metal tray of instruments covered with a blue towel. i could see all dozens of instruments poking out from the towel. oh my god. the dentist came in and he looked like a little troll. in the conversation with my mom and the nurse he asked what day it was. oh my god, the guy who will be ripping my teeth out doesn't even know what day it is?! the nurse hooked me up to the heart monitor. the dentist looked at my teeth and the x-ray and said i would need all 4 out because the other top one was really crowded and the bottom two had flaps of skin over them. i was going insane and completely out of control. they were still talking and the monitor made this louder beeping noise every once in a while. it must have been bad because the nurse kept turning around to look at it. they kept talking. there was no way in hell i was going to let him yank my teeth out. my heart rate was up to 125 so the nurse decided to gas me. i decided just to relax and concentrate on my breathing. it was kind of cold at first but went away. i felt like the corners of my eyes were twitching for a little while.(after this everything might be out of order because i felt weird) then the talking stopped and it was quiet for what seemed like half an hour. i wondered if they were done yet, even though it didn't feel like my mouth was open. then i heard the nurse ask if i was feeling more relaxed because my heart rate had gone way down, and i said yeah. the heart monitor's beeping sounded like it was going really fast though. later i heard her ask what kind of music i liked and i said rock, so she turned on a station and asked if that one was ok and i said yea. i don't know what was playing, i just heard music for a couple seconds and i didn't hear it anymore. all i could hear was this whirring noise and the heart rate monitor. whenever the nurse said something, i felt like she had said it 50 times before. like deja vous. i don't remember what she was saying though. i tried to open my eyes. i could but i shut them right away because i didn't want to be there. another eternity passed. then i felt a rubber thing being tied around my arm and the inside of my arm getting slapped and alcohol being rubbed on. there was more slapping while the dentist told me to clench my fist. it was hard to do because i was so relaxed. i couldn't believe i was that relaxed just from laughing gas when the IV wasn't even in me yet. he was making a big deal about the needle, but in my head i was like just shove it in already. dentist: wow, you didn't even flinch! me: ...
more whirring and heart rate monitor noises. i wasn't really bored, it just felt nice to be relaxed for once in my life. the noise was pretty creepy sounding but i didn't seem to mind. then they put something around my arm to keep it straight and told me they were putting something on my finger to monitor my oxygen, but i couldn't feel my fingers. i felt my arm being messed with a lot. maybe they were injecting the IV with stuff. finally i heard the dentist tell me to open my mouth as wide as i could. then he stuck something between my teeth to keep my jaw open. then i couldn't feel that my mouth was open anymore. some more whirring and heart monitor beeping. then they were ripping the tape off my arm that held in my IV and remembered that roo told me that that was the most painful part for her, but it felt fine. i don't know if i was ever asleep or not, because i felt like i was awake the whole time. i don't remember how i got to the recovery room, but vaguely remember opening my eyes and feeling relieved. i kind of remember entering the recovery room too. i felt kind of dizzy and heavy. i tried to move my arms but they were too heavy. i felt like i was in there for half an hour at the most, but later my mom told me we were sitting in there for an hour and a half. my mom told me she was going to the store to get me some yogurt and stuff and i nodded. when i could lift my arms i felt my mouth and there was a ton of gauze sticking out of it. below that was this huge rubber thing. i didn't know what that was for so i kept feeling it and realized it was my lower lip and chin. i could feel my upper lip though. when my mom got back she asked if i was ready and i nodded again. another nurse and my mom helped me to the car. they both tried to ask me stuff and all i could say was "uh" and "eh". it really scared me that i couldn't talk. when we got home i had to take my gauze out over the sink. i shut my eyes so i couldn't see the blood. it was really hard to get out because it was stuck to my cheeks and i couldn't really feel my mouth. the top of my mouth didn't feel like it matched up to the bottom, especially with my lips. my top lip felt like it was resting up against a cold hot dog or something. i was led to the recliner and my mom told me as soon as i could feel my mouth i should drink something. i asked for some "wahr" and tried to drink but i couldn't feel the cup and if anything had gotten into my mouth. my mom spooned it in instead. i felt like a retard but it worked because i could at least feel my throat to swallow. it wore off pretty quickly though. soon i could tell that it was cold and if it was dripping down my chin. i watched the nightmare before christmas. then it started to really hurt so i took one of the pain killers. the rest watched some movie about a western singer while i was out like a box of wine. pain killers really SUCK and even though i took only 3 or 4 in the first couple days, it took me til today to get it out of my system. i was drowsy and dizzy all the time and it was horrible. then i watched the lion king. i felt like a little kid watching all these movies i used to like when i was younger.
i actually feel human today. but when you're not on the pain killers, it hurts really bad. and when that happens and you talk it sounds like you're whimpering instead. there are times when it hurts, and times when it doesn't. i have felt much worse pain before though.
today, day 5, wasn't too bad. i took a tylenol at lunch but that's all. my jaw is really sore though and it's hard to open it. the bottom ones feel like they're throbbing right now but not too painful. they're the ones that hurt the most. the top right one hasn't hurt me at all. the top left one had to be cut out so i have one stitch between my teeth and my cheek. that one hurts sometimes. at least the dentist got it out in one piece. i wonder what they looked like...*shudder*
anyway, i haven't looked in my mouth at all. actually i was brave enough to let my family look in there today. my parents say they're healing really well but nick and emily say it looks SICK. they all said there's this white scabbing all around them. ewww. i'm not looking. i'm supposed to start irrigating the bottom ones with a syringe too. siiicccck....at least my sinus and ear canal feel nice now...but my jaw still pops. christ
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Saturday, May 06, 2006 / 10:23 AM
and then i opened my eyes and it was 10:15. i don't even remember lying down...0 comments
/ 3:25 AM
oh my godi can't wait for monday much longer
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/ 2:45 AM
okay, the whole bathroom smells like vomit and there are the usual drunk crowd over there being creepy and some of them were crying. talk about too much beer. and this just doesn't add to my problem does it...my sinus it exploding and i'm shaking and my jaw hurts0 comments
/ 1:39 AM
well roo and marshall say asleep is the way to go, and i can't help but agree. i don't know, my sinus/teeth hurt like a bitchhhhhh. which is worse, this or what happens on monday?0 comments
Friday, May 05, 2006 / 4:30 PM
i'm scheduled for 10 on monday and she said i'll be out of it for three days. i rescheduled my finals for thursday at the earliest, but if i still feel like crap then they'll have to be more flexible with me. i'm scared0 comments
/ 3:04 PM
I hope I can have surgery tomorrow.0 comments
/ 4:28 AM
dear god, what have i done to deserve this.0 comments
/ 2:17 AM
bloody hell. i think i am having complications...my sinus makes popping noises...0 comments
Thursday, May 04, 2006 / 9:49 PM
my left nostril had blood in it and my left sinus hurts now..shaking0 comments
Wednesday, May 03, 2006 / 11:26 AM
i feel like shit...0 comments
/ 9:00 AM
i went to get an x-ray. it's impacted.dear god, i've stayed up for three nights in a row now. that's like...96 hours.
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/ 7:12 AM
pain agony another night of shaking uncontrollably0 comments
/ 4:41 AM
nights are long.0 comments
/ 3:35 AM
this is not normal. i feel like all my teeth on that side are imploding. they're shifting in my head and there's nothing i can do about it. i can't eat and i can't sleep and i can't stop shaking. and sweating. and i have a fever. and i feel like i'm going to thow up. yes it is 3:350 comments
Tuesday, May 02, 2006 / 4:44 PM
judging by the 3 year old x rays, the dentist thinks i'm fine, but he doesn't know for sure. -_-0 comments
Monday, May 01, 2006 / 6:55 AM
oh my god. i haven't slept a wink because i'm terrified. i think my last wisdom tooth that hasn't come in is impacted. i need some reassurance that i'm not going to die. my legs have been convulsing for like six hours...0 comments