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KiSSaDiLLa .
23.
September 8 .
Yoga. Craftin. Travels. Rock shows. Vegetarianism. Medical Technology.

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motivation...lost

Friday, May 06, 2005 / 2:21 PM

how lame is that. no matter how hard i try. it's all worth nothing. time and time again, people prove that they're so much better than me. if someone would just give me one fucking chance. now i have to try and forget everything i was hoping for. i'm back at square one. and i'm staying there.

i don't blame jeremy for picking them instead of me. they're nicer, happier, prettier. but not more capable. all amy does all art period is nothing. they both laugh a lot. maybe that's why. i don't laugh much.

it wouldn't be so hard if they didn't talk about it. but they do. a lot.

so...no job. no scholarship. this means my parents have to pay for everything. it isn't my fault. i have a 3.8 gpa. i'm graduating with honors next month. i applied for every scholarship that didn't have to do with financial need. i haven't missed a single day of school since 7th grade. is that so WRONG??

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