i'm such a pirate, i wear TWO eye patches! YARRRR!
Sunday, December 05, 2004 / 5:49 PM
saturday is for catching up on sleep, sunday is for catching up on homework. i wonder how it went with eustacia and david last night...i skinned a knee and bruised the crunchy one. that isn't very nice. i'm putting off the term paper for a little while. all i need is another half page. two more essays due this week. one is about an issue of concern where she says our term paper topics would work. but screw the patriot act. i'm probably gonna do this parallelism between the book we're reading right now, "1984", and our big old secretive lying government. and i'm not even gonna say a lot of the stuff i believe in, everyone will just know how crazy i am...like it was bush who hired terrorists to do up the WTC. I even had that going before i saw fahrenheit 9/11. i'm willing to open my mind up to anything at this point, call me gullible, but it's how i want to figure out the truth. i was raised to be paranoid. damn it.
sometimes when I wake up in the morning I have this heavy realization that it won't always be this way. I'm going to die, I won't live in this body anymore, where will I be then? none of this matters. what I strive for in this life has no significance, yet we all have some sort of instinct to strive anyway. I won't be able to go back to the way it is now....will I want to though? that's what scares me. right now, I think that I would want to. when i'm in the afterlife, I could think things that I have no control over. would I ever be able to see these people ever again? would I forget who marshall is? if i did...would I care? i feel like my whole personality will die along with me, and I won't even care.
If anyone can hear me slap some sense in me
But you turn your head and I end up talking to myself
Anxiety has got me strung out and frustrated
So I loose my head or I bang it up against the wall
-greenday (not christmassy, i know)
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