"this is worse than goth poetry" -J
Tuesday, November 09, 2004 / 6:43 PM
every day it feels like my final one, the day I will finally snap. and while saying that, I can't even say that my life is a living hell. it's not. it's that i'm so close to heaven, i've fought so hard to get out of the shit i was in last year, i no longer have connections with anyone. i no longer hurt because of others. now i can only hurt because of myself. i can never be perfect, it's always so close but there are things that will never fail to dissatisfy me.
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okay that's the end of that. my dad had the nerve to beg my mom to drive us to school today just because of the fog. and behind my back, at that! wasn't the purpose of me getting a license was so that she WOULDN'T have to do that?? and how am I supposed to get home when my mom has my car? I get out at 1:30! I thought my mom was teaching or something, but after we left she told me and it just killed my day. how many hints does it take to make him understand that I am an independent human being who can make wise choices and can even drive less than 100 mph (WoW)!? what makes him think he has the right to control me like that? and most especially my mom. if he ever does that again...i will do what my mom doesn't have the guts to do. talk back! i've done this before and won. yes, it did involve physical abuse towards me, and I've never told anyone that. but he did learn that he can't control me. the bruises soon heal, but the sanity does not. i'll be out of here more sooner than later, and it won't be quietly.
(can't you just feel the parental bonding?)
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