Monday, June 28, 2004 / 11:18 PM
i wanna go bash my head into a wall. maybe it's just my depressing music bashing its head into me, but i don't care. i feel like bashing someone's head into something too. i have horrible jealousy problems. i want to just lash out someday and make them all feel pain. everyone else's life seems so much better than mine. am i missing something in my own life? i watch people being happy so much, and wonder what it is that makes them like that, and what makes them so outgoing and lively. all i feel is blah, and leave me alone because i want to cry by myself and you deserve more than being in my worthless presence. too many people...acting like they're my friend for five minutes and then never come back. and me, just giving up so six years ago, the third time i moved. pointless, you're only going to move away again anyway. quit talking like that, you say such stupid things. don't hang out with those people anymore...they're looking at you funny, can't you see that? quit laughing, it's not funny anymore.
and now it's like...why don't you ever talk? when you do, people laugh. you have a good sense of humor when you talk, and laugh. can't you just find some people? you know you're lonely. you're a human, just like they are...aren't you? nevermind. quit being so afraid. you used to be different. you were happy once...remember? don't you remember?
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